


It's You (Chris Evans & Sebastian Stan X OC)

by luniellar



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bromance, Crush, Elizabeth Olsen - Freeform, F/M, Fanfic, Fanfiction, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Jealousy, Love, Love Triangles, Marvel - Freeform, Original Character(s), Protective, Romance, Sebastian Stan - Freeform, Unrequited Love, boyfriend - Freeform, chris evans - Freeform, mcu - Freeform, ongoing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-20 10:09:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19374565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luniellar/pseuds/luniellar
Summary: Chris, Sebastian, and Julie (Original Character) have been friends for a long time… even before Chris and Seb started their acting careers and landed a role in the Marvel Universe. Friendship opened a new path to love and it’s starting to look… complicated.





	1. Prologue

**{ Chris’ POV }**

 

“Chris?” An unfamiliar, female voice called from the distance. I slowly opened my eyes and my body felt heavy. A familiar wave nauseousness hit me and I quickly grabbed the full shot glass from the end table. I felt the lukewarm, clear drink burn down to my stomach. My eyes lazily scanned around the hotel room. The pitch dark skies were exposed to the overwhelming amount of skyscrapers that crowded the view. I glanced around the king bed I was laying on. I was still dressed in the same Tom Ford blue suit I was wearing from last night.

“Chris.” The voice got closer. I looked over to the door where I heard the sound come from and through my blurry vision was a tall blonde in a blush silky gown. I didn’t know who that was. But, it wasn’t her.

“Honey, where do you want me to start,” her seductive voice cooed around the large room. “Does our Cap like to start off with a dance?”

“ _ **Get out**_ ,” I muttered.

“Chris, you were the one who-” she started to speak and I threw the shot glass across the floor. There was a loud shattering sound as it hit the marble floor followed by a scream.

_“What the fuck is your problem!”_

I dragged myself out of the bed and made my way to the bathroom. Before I slammed the door behind me, I heard her speak under her breath as she stormed out in anger. “Fucking, celebrities I swear.”

I ripped the clothes off of me and threw it on the floor. I turned on the shower, stepped in and the cold water poured from the ceiling.

“Hey, hey. It’s going to be okay.” I heard her soft voice in my head. I closed my eyes and I saw her smile, her messy brown curls and felt her soft hands caressing my face. “We will get through anything, I promise.”

“You lied,” I whispered as my warm tears were overwhelmed by the ice-cold water.

 

 

**{ Julie’s POV }**

 

Sebastian’s frown remained the same from the moment he grabbed me from the premiere party and threw me into his passenger seat. We zoomed through the city and the lights flickered by. After about an hour of him flooring the accelerator, the city was a far, distant speck behind us.

“Seb,” I spoke and I watched his tense jaw relax, but his eyes were still glued to the road.

“Where are we going? There’s nothing out here,” I tried to reason with him to turn back around.

“It doesn’t matter. We can sleep in this car.”

“You know your phone has been going off every five minutes. It’s probably Frank.” Frank was his dorky, straight-out-of-college assistant who started about a month ago. I could already see his panicky hands shaking as he pressed his speed dial once every five minutes.

Seb didn’t say anything and he didn’t lift his feet off the accelerator either. I wondered if anyone was looking for me. I dropped my phone somewhere on the way between everything that just happened a few hours back. His last blank expression and empty eyes flashed back at me. I’m sure he wouldn’t have called me. I shook the image out of my head and looked back at Seb.

“Let’s turn back. You have your team and fans worried already. I’m sure Chris is-” Before I could even complete my sentence, the car screeched to a hard stop on the side of the road. There were no other cars in sight. We were in the middle of nowhere.

“Are you _**fucking stupid**_?” he glared at me.

“Seb…”

“Do you hear yourself, Jules? How the fuck can you talk about that piece of shit right now!?” His firm hands gripped my shoulders and his eyes were looking straight into my soul. His gaze sent chills down my spine. “Don’t even mention his name in front of me.” His words were cold.

I instinctively winced in pain from his grip and he automatically dropped his hands. “Sorry.”

I sighed. “What happened back there is between me and Chris. You don’t have anything to do with this,” I muttered staring back at the bright white headlights piercing the deserted darkness.

“No,” he started, “and that’s where you are wrong.”

I looked back at him in confusion and his right hand reached for my left. His hand was still warm from gripping on to the wheel.

_**“As long as you are in the picture, it has everything to do with me.”** _


	2. The News

 

**TWO YEARS AGO**

 

**_Buzz._ **

 

The phone buzzed on my lap and the incoming message lit up my phone.

 

**I’m sorry. Still filming.**

 

I stared back at the steak that had gone cold two hours ago and the sauce that looked like someone had poured glossy nail paint on. The candle had completely gone out and in the darkness, I could still make up the empty seat across from me. When I started to reply, the phone buzzed again.

 

**I don’t think I can make it back tonight. Don’t stay up too late. Lock your doors.**

 

My head dropped in disappointment. And this is why you don’t do anything nice for people, Julie. Also, “lock your doors?” How can I even hate him?

I was starting to get up from my seat when I heard the doorbell. My heart skipped in excitement as my mind raced at the thought of Chris surprising me with a bouquet of flowers. He already knew my favorite. White Gardenias. I still remember when he first bought them for me when we took each other on pity dates to homecoming. Later, we found out that the meaning behind the flowers was secret love and it stuck with us forever.

I tossed my waves for the sexy, volume look and opened the door with a huge grin on my face waiting for his bright blue eyes to greet me. To my surprise, I was captivated by a familiar pair of slate blue eyes.

“Seb?!” I blurted as he made his way through the door with a large duffel bag hung on his shoulder. I followed him in like I was the guest of the house as he threw the bag down on the living room floor and jump on the couch.

“Can you get me a drink? Something strong please darling,” he muttered with his adorable accent he made up. His lean body stretched across my solo small loveseat.

I rolled my eyes at him as I plopped down on the floor facing him. “I’m sorry your highness, but it’s a self-service around here.”

He turned and smirked at me. “Rebellious one, I see.”

I smiled back at him. “What brings you here, Sebby?”

Now, he rolled his eyes at me and I giggled. He always expressed to me how he hates it when I would call him by that in public. In private, he had no excuse to be upset. Well, no valid point to argue why I shouldn’t call him Sebby. “A best friend can’t swing by to visit another best friend?”

“He could, but this best friend knows that her best friend should be across the world filming,” I said back matter-of-factly and he smiled his usual, you-got-me kind of smile.

“We finished up early.”

“Really? How? I thought you were going to be over there at least for another month? How did it go?”

“You know, I literally got off the plane an hour ago and raced here. You should be jumping with joy, not harassing me with 21 questions.”

“No one asked you to race here, you know.”

“But,” he started to say and after what felt like a long minute pause, he finished his sentence. “I was hungry.” I watched as his tense face relax.

“Hold on,” I exhaled loudly as I got up and made my way to the dining room. Well, calling it a dining room was giving it too much credit. It was the random space next to the kitchen that people put their dining table in. I turned on the small light on in the room that shed the light to the failed dinner date I was planning for Chris. I completely forgot that this was here and I didn’t realize Seb also followed me until I heard his voice behind me causing me to jump.

“Huh,” he muttered glancing around. “Did you get stood up?”

Feeling my face heating up, I quickly rushed over and started grabbing the plates to clear them. It wasn’t entirely false. He was already a step ahead taking the plate from my hands.

“Who’s the guy?” he asked and I grabbed the plate from his hands. “Are you using that app kids are using nowadays? Pinder? Was that what they called it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said back as I attempted to head into the kitchen. The keyword was attempted. Sebastian was already in front of me.

“Who’s the guy?” he pressed again.

“Why do you need to know?”

“So I can beat his ass. Did he stood you up?”

“No,” I said back as I basically pushed him out of the way. I dropped the plates on the countertop and turned around to grab the rest when he stood in front of me again.

“Julie,” his velvety voice whispered. He never called me Julie unless it was serious. “Are you okay?”

I looked up at him, met his clear slate eyes and smiled. “I’m fine. You don’t need to make a deal out of Seb. It was just a small thing.”

“You cooked. You never cook.”

That was also true. There was a reason why I moved to the city. The takeout options were endless. My father left my mom when I was two and mother passed away when I was young and I was raised by my grandparents. I didn’t have a family recipe to pass down, we were all busy trying to get food on the table.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to tell him. I hated keeping secrets from him. Chris and I had been seeing each other for about six months and it was his idea to keep it away from Seb for now. We were still figuring things out in our relationship and Seb had a new project he was taking a lead on. I wasn’t sure how he was going to take it and the last thing I needed to bother him and his work.

To be honest, I just thought I was going to be some booty call for about two months, but I couldn’t believe that it had already been six months since we started… dating.

Seb grabbed the plates from my hands and placed them on the countertop for me. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me. But, I’m eating this.”

“No, let me order you something.”

He shook his head and made his way back to the table. I watched as he grabbed the box of matches next to the misshapen candle. With a small flame on his match, he lit the dying candle. “Bring me your best creation, Jules Ramsey.”

I sighed in defeat as went back to reheat the steak and glossy sauce.

To my surprise, he finished everything on the plate I prepared for him. But, he also didn’t say a word during the whole meal so I couldn’t tell if he was eating because he was hungry or because he felt bad. After his last bite, he placed his utensils down and wiped his mouth with the napkin.

“So?” I urgently asked.

“Good,” he said back.

“Good?”

He nodded.

“Nothing else to add?” I asked.

He leaned back on the chair. “Well, you said it was supposed to be medium rare, it definitely tasted borderline overcooked.”

Of course, that’s the Seb I knew. “Thanks,” I sarcastically muttered as I grabbed the plate from him. But, at the same time, he grabbed the plate as well and his hand was over mine.

“I’m just kidding. It was surprisingly good,” he said with his eyes glittering in the candlelight. Seb was born to be on the screen. His solid jawline and sculpted features did everything. His acting skill only confirmed his birthright.

“Uh huh, surprisingly,” I repeated back and he sighed.

“I give you a compliment and you’re still sulking.”

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “It was the best meal I had. And that’s saying a lot. You should really cook more because I think you have a talent for it.”

I immediately felt my face heating up and coughed to clear my throat. I could see why candlelight dinners were popular date ideas. I had weird butterflies in my stomach that didn’t exist there before.

“Thank you,” I managed to say out. “I’m glad that you were the first to try my masterpiece.”

There was a long period of silence as we sat there with his hand over mine both clutching to the plate.

“Go relax Seb, I should start cleaning up,” I said as I grabbed the plate and maneuvered my hand from his.

I should have run away when I had the chance because his next words had me glued to my seat for what felt like an eternity.

 

_“I like you, Jules. I can’t stop thinking about you.”_

 

The only thing that broke the silence was the clear clicking sound followed by a loud thud. That was the door. Seconds later, I heard his voice.

“Jules!”

Chris. Shit, I completely forgot to text him that Seb was over. Frantically I got up, but it was too late. He was already in the living room and looking at us both.

“Seb?” Chris asked looking at Seb.

“Chris?” Seb looked at Chris and then back at me. Those brilliant blue I craved so many hours ago was here,, but I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted to hide.

 

 

**{ Sebastian’s POV }**

 

 

 _ **Shit.**_ I couldn’t believe I said it.

My last words echoed over and over in head. “I like you, Jules. I can’t stop thinking about you.” _**Fuck.**_

Her warm brown eyes locked with mine. But, I couldn’t read her expression. Her full lips pressed shut and she looked down at the table. Her waves fell across her face as she looked concerned… no, confused. The silence carried on and a wave of regret washed over me. This wasn’t how I wanted to say it. No, not like this.

As I opened my mouth to say something to fill the space, there was a loud thud followed by a familiar voice.

“Jules!”

There was only one other person who called her by Jules. Before he turned the corner, I knew that Chris was here too. I glanced over at Jules who looked pale and sick to her stomach.

“Seb?” Chris asked and we made eye contact. He was wearing a plain black baseball cap that covered his messy head. His beard was at full force from his role as Captain America on the run. He had a bouquet of white flowers in his right hand.

“Chris?” I asked back as I looked over at her drained face. Something was going on.

Chris walked over to the table and casually placed the flowers down in front of Julie. “What are you doing here man? Aren’t you supposed to be filming?”

I smiled. “I didn’t know that you guys were that interested in me. Funny thing too, because that’s exactly what she said to me when I barged in.”

I watched as Chris and Jules looked at each other. When they made eye contact, I felt like I was the guest walking in the room. This was new.

“Huh, I didn’t know Jules would be the one to say something like that,” he laughed trying to lighten the tense mood in the room.

“My schedule finished up early and I came by to surprise her, but it looks like I surprised you too.”

“It’s my lucky day,” he smiled. “We missed you.”

We? When did he start speaking for her? “What about you?”

Chris looked around the room. “Oh you know, I just finished up filming and I was hoping to kick in the guest bed before the next shoot.”

“Your 5-star trailer wasn’t good enough,” I joked sarcastically and he laughed. “Well, it looks like it’s you and me on that twin bed tonight unless Jules wants to give up hers for us.”

Jules looked at me with determination in her eyes that was completely 180 from a few minutes ago.

“Seb,” she paused.

 

_**“Chris and I are dating.”** _


	3. Moving On

**{ Julie’s POV }**

 

 

The air around me felt suffocating, but realized I was instinctively trying to hold my breath, hoping to disappear from this world. But, interestingly… I felt free. I was done lying to Seb. There was nothing between me and Seb and all felt right in the world. As right as it could be for this situation. If we could all just gather around the campfire and hug it out now…

 

_“I like you, Jules. I can’t stop thinking about you.”_

 

Oh right. My heartfelt heavy again like I was punched back down on the floor. I cautiously looked at Seb as his eyes shifted from mine to Chris and back to mine again.

“You guys are dating,” Seb stated, but it sounded more like a question like he needed to confirm from both of us.

Chris cleared his throat. “Well, this is going to be a long night.”

 

 

For the most part, I sat there like a log as Chris explained to Seb when we started dating and why we kept it from him. I nodded along, but I wasn’t really listening. I felt like I owed him the story from my voice. I glanced at Seb from time to time during the conversation to read what he was thinking, but when I saw his eyes fix at me, I immediately turned my gaze to glare at the floor.

“I’m sorry bud, I shouldn’t have kept it from you. She wanted to tell you and me…” Chris paused. “I wanted to make sure what we had was something to even bring up to you and now… I am just regretful for not telling you sooner. We didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

Seb nodded. “Well, you guys are not wrong. It would have messed with my work.” Then, he looked at me. “But, I appreciate you guys for telling me as soon as you felt ready.”

 

 

_My heart ached again. I remembered back in high school after prom when all our dates passed out in the hotel room and it was just the three of us sitting in the dark waiting for the sun to come up. It was going to be our first all-nighter together. Chris was drifting in and out of sleep, but Seb wasn’t affected by the vodka shots he and Chris took earlier. I only had my virgin cocktails, so I was just wired on sugar at this point._

_“Hey Julie,” Seb muttered._

_“Hm,” I replied._

_“Promise me, that we will still remain friends when we grow up.”_

_I turned to look at him and his slate blue eyes. “Only if you promise me that you won’t forget me when you get famous.” I looked at Chris and giggled at his eyelashes blinked slower and slower trying to stay awake. “Let’s be real. Chris will forget me as soon as he gets a taste of fame._

_“Julesss, Nuhhh uhh…” Chris managed to say before going completely silent followed by quiet snores._

_“I won’t,” Seb answered. “No secrets too.”_

 

 

I got up from my seat and started cleaning the rest of the table. “It’s late and you guys need sleep.”

“I’ll grab a hotel nearby,” Seb said getting up from the table too.

“No, both of you guys are sleeping in my bed today. I’m taking the twin bed in the guest room,” I stated and saw Chris about to protest. “And that’s final.” I used my serious voice and no one said anything.

I tossed around the small, creaky bed until I ended up staring at the ceiling. Were they sleeping already? After the dishes, I got Chris to drag Seb’s bag to my room and I ordered both of them to get ready for bed. They both knew me well enough to know that when I was determined, I was not changing my mind.

 

 

You know, thirty-four years of my life and I never had this experience before. My romantic life was summed up by two words, stagnant and sad. Depressing, I know. I only had two serious boyfriends in my life and they both lasted about four years each. Chris always made fun of me that I couldn’t keep a guy around for five years and Seb was more amazed that no guy wants to put a ring on it after four years. One of the guys was cheating on me for a good year until I found out. Like I said, stagnant and sad. But, that was three years ago and the final act of my roaring-twenties.

Chris suggested that I take a break from work and focus on having a social life like every normal female in their twenties, but life wasn’t that easy. With two jobs, an apartment in Boston, and film writing hobbies, I didn’t have the time for a life. I started making plans for my forever single life when I crossed the line and turned thirty. My two best friends were so successful and here I was, still struggling away. Within three months of dating, Chris wanted me to move into his apartment, but no. I needed more time to be myself.

I laid there blinking in the darkness and decided that I probably wasn’t going to be sleeping tonight. I rolled over and got up from my bed. Even in the darkness, I knew how to navigate every part of my home. I walked through the hallways to the living room and realized that the kitchen lights were on.

Huh, I didn’t remember leaving those on.

I walked into the kitchen unknowingly and the moment I stepped through the doorway, I saw a figure pass by me as a hand grabbed my wrist and pinned me against the wall. Before I could scream, the other hand was over my mouth. My eyes focused on the tall figure in front of me and his stupid smiling face came into view.

Chris.

Instinctively, I tried to bite his hand and he quickly retracted them. “Okay, I deserved that.”

Gasping for air, I closed my eyes to breathe in and out, making sure to count to five. My heart was racing and I heard it ringing in my ears. “I’m going to kill you,” I whispered with my eyes still closed.

“And that too,” he replied. I felt his warm hands wrap around my cheeks. “ _Hey, hey._ I’m here.”

When I opened my eyes, his vivid blue eyes greeted me. My heart instantly melted at the sight of his face. Then, he slowly leaned in to kiss my forehead.

“I missed you,” he muttered under his breath.

I buried my face into his chest and his arms wrapped around my body. We stood like that for minutes until I pulled away first. If I didn’t I think I could have fallen asleep like that. “How is Seb?” I whispered.

“You know him. He’s a champ,” he smiled flashing his perfect “my dad is a dentist” smile.

I sighed in relief. I didn’t know if I should tell Chris what Seb told me before he walked in, but I advised against it. I still didn’t have a chance to talk to him about it. I quickly changed the subject. “What was that about.”

Chris chuckled. “Work training? In case you didn’t know, I actually train for my own action scenes.”

I knew and that’s when rolled my eyes. “You’re stupid, you know that?

He laughed again, louder this time. “You walk around the house like a mammoth Jules. If I was actually breaking in, you’re a pretty easy first target.”

Mammoth? “Chris,” I warned. “You did not just say mammoth.”

He shrugged jokingly and I glared at him. “But, really Jules. This is why I’m trying to get you to sign up for those self-defense classes. You need to protect yourself.”

“The city of Boston people are great people,” I said back and realized there was a cut on the side of his neck that wasn’t there before. “Chris,” I said as I got closer to it. It looked deep.

“Oh,” he said as he put his hand over it. “It’s a small cut I got on set.”

“Small?” I panicked and moving his hand from it. It looked painful. “Hold on, I’m going to get the first aid kit.”

I turned around to head into the living room, but his hand reached out for my wrist and stopped me. I looked back at him and pulled me closer to him. I only realize how tall he is until we are close like this. I wouldn’t consider myself to be short, but when my 5’6’’ height is side by side his 6’0’’ height, I have to look up and he needs to look down to meet in the middle.

He leaned down and our lips pressed together. I felt his rough lips against mine as we kissed. He pulled away before I knew we couldn’t stop. I was disappointed, but I also knew why he pulled away there.

He brushed my hair from my face with his hand and tucked it behind my ears. “You’re so beautiful.”

I felt my face heat up as I looked down in embarrassment. Imagine it. Your movie star boyfriend who sees all these famous, gorgeous, and perfect celebrities every day tells you that your no makeup and baggy PJs self was beautiful. When I looked at his eyes, it told me that everything he was saying was the truth. But, my lack of self-confidence told me otherwise. He’s just being nice, Julie.

“Come on, I’ll tuck you in bed,” he said as he grabbed my hand and clicked off the kitchen light.

 

 

I crawled into the small bed and Chris pulled the blanket over my body before sitting on the edge of the bed. I saw his face clearly as the moonlight filtered in through the window.

“If you keep staring at me like that, I won’t be able to stop myself from jumping in there with you,” he muttered in a low voice.

I closed my eyes with the warmth of the blanket surrounding my tiny body. He chuckled as I felt his hand graze across my forehead and move the hair on my face. His soft touch was like a sweet lullaby. Then, I felt his lips on my forehead. When I opened my eyes, his face was an inch away from mine. I felt his breath against my face and my heart started to race wildly. I had to restrain myself from grabbing and pulling him close.

I heard him exhale frustratedly.

“I need you to myself tomorrow,” he sounded defeated as he got up from the bed.

 

“Goodnight, baby,” he whispered as closed the door behind him.


	4. Lost

**Present Day**

**[A/N: This picks up from the end of the Prologue]**

 

 

The air around me felt suffocating. Seb turned off the car engine and I took this chance to unlock the car door and step outside. The cool night breeze blew at my face and it felt nice like I could breathe again. I crossed my arms as I leaned against the car door staring at the empty darkness. The sand and dirt swept against my heels. After everything that happened tonight, this peace was mentally and physically welcomed.

A second later, I heard the car door open and close behind me. As Seb walked up to me, I watched him take off his suit jacket. He stood in front of me as he wrapped the jacket around my body. I felt his warmth radiating against my body. The feeling was equivalent to burying yourself on your bed after a stressful day at work.

Seb softly leaned against the car next to me. “What are you going to do?”

“Go home,” I replied.

“You know he’s going to be there whether it’s the hotel or your place back at Boston,” Seb sighed and paused. “You can stay over at my place.”

I exhaled in defeat. “I didn’t know I was supposed to be running from him. It’s just Chris.”

“It’s not just Chris.”

“He’s the same Chris you and I knew for years, Seb. I’m going to be okay.” Was I trying to convince myself?

“I don’t want you getting hurt,” he whispered. From the corner of my eyes, I knew that he was staring at me, but I didn’t want to look at him. I knew the moment I turned, I wouldn’t be able to hold back my tears. I kept my eyes facing forward.

“Seb,” I started. “I appreciate everything you did for me today, but this is my problem and I can take of myself,” I said. I didn’t know if this was true, but I thought if I said it out loud, maybe it would happen.

“I’m not saying that you can’t take care of it, Julie,” he paused. “I just don’t want you getting hurt from this.”

“It’s too late,” I whispered. My heart was torn… no, shredded into microscopic pieces. I remembered Chris’ last text before arrived at the premiere.

 

**Stay at the hotel.**

 

I bit my lips and looked down at my feet. “Seb, why am I so stubborn? Why did I turn back?” I heard my voice wavering as I was fighting to hold my tears back. Sebastian reached out his arm, wrapped it around my shoulder and pulled me in. I smelled the subtle hint of his familiar cologne greeted me as I buried my face into his chest. The moment my face touched his shirt, the tears quietly rained down uncontrollably.

Between my sobs, I heard his soft voice.

“Shh, it’s going to be alright,” he muttered.

 

 

**Same Day, Few Hours Ago**

 

 

_**Beep. Beep. Beep.** _

 

My phone alarm blared. Frustrated, I threw the blankets on top of my head shut the alarm, but realized my phone was inside my blankets.

Ugh.

“Fine!” I shouted as I got up from my bed. The sun was beaming through the hotel room windows and I glanced over at the digital clock on the end table.

10:03 AM

I would have long past overslept if this was a regular work day (adding the three hour time difference from Boston), but today was my debut on the red carpet. I glanced over at the red gown hanging on my small clothes rack. Well, okay let me rephrase that. It wasn’t my debut. It was Chris and Seb’s Avenger’s Endgame premiere.

I looked over at the simple and modest dress I settled on after months of searching. I had the hardest time looking for a classic even gown and finding one that fit my budget was close to impossible. Celebrities had luxury sponsors and I had a trusty old friend, Google. I looked over at the mirror and my half-awake wildling-self looked back at me.

Yep. I had a lot of work to do.

I turned on the hot water for the bathtub as I threw my PJs on the floor. Chris offered to have a limo come pick me up for a full A-list treatment tonight, but I refused. I wanted to put in the effort to prepare for this. Especially if what Chris said was really happening. I felt my cheeks blush just at the slightest thought of what was going to happen tonight.

 

 

_“I want us to go public,” Chris said casually as he was washing the dishes._

_I turned to look at him in confusion as I added the last dinner plates to the sink. “Huh?”_

_He turned off the water and turned his body towards me. His hands were still covered in soap and dripping with water. “You know, you and me going public.”_

_“What do you mean going pu-” I stopped my mid-sentence as I finally understood what he meant. He wanted to tell people about our relationship. I almost choked on my own breath. “Chris,” I started._

_“I’m sick of these pointless articles always pairing me up with people,” he finished. “You know, the other day Robert linked me a fanfiction novel pairing me up with him.”_

_Huh, he obviously didn’t look the numerous fanfictions with him and Seb. I smiled at my voice inside my head and he frowned. “Jules, I’m serious about this.”_

_I didn’t lose my smile. Too much time around Chris did this to you. “Chris, the fanfics can’t be controlled. We might have to brainstorm another way to deal with that.”_

_Chris took a step closer to me and reached for my hand. He intertwined his soapy fingers with mine. “I want to make us official. It’s been two years. I know I want to be with you.”_

_My heart skipped a beat as I gazed at his baby blue eyes. “Mmn… is this supposed to be a proposal?” I asked and he shook his head._

_“This is just me trying to let the world know about the most beautiful, kind-hearted, and warm soul I’ve kept to myself all these years.”_

 

 

I glanced over at my phone again.

4:05 PM

I had a car scheduled to pick me up from my hotel in an hour and I just finished my eyeliner after a straight hour of drawing and erasing. My sensitive skin around my eyes was begging me to stop. My eyes constantly shifted from the time to the mirror. I hurriedly made finishing touches with blush, soft-glowing highlighter, and mascara. I grabbed the matte red lipstick from my purse and put it over my lips. I let my soft waves down and looked at myself in accomplishment.

 

**_You look beautiful, Jules._ **

 

Chris’ voice echoed my head and I felt my face growing warmer. I couldn’t wait until we were back in my apartment in Boston after all this. Shaking my head, I quickly threw my phone and my lipstick in my small clutch. I walked over to my gown and got in my dress. I pulled out a new pair of nude heels I bought for this event. After I was done, I stood in front of the full-size mirror and looked at myself.

I felt beautiful.

This feeling was rare and much welcomed right now.

This was exactly how I wanted to look “going public” with the man of my life.

 

 

The Lyft driver was so confused when I gave him the address to the premiere. After circling the area a dozen times to be stopped by blocked roads, he dropped me off about two blocks from the location.

“This is the best I could do,” he said in a monotone as the car came to a stop.

“Thank you,” I said as I got out of the taxi holding on to my gown. I didn’t expect my Lyft to pull up to the red carpet, but I also didn’t think that I would be walking myself to the premiere. Thankfully, these streets were empty and I only got one or two glances from the occasional dog walkers. I watched as my driver drove off and I stood there on the sidewalk with my long scarlet evening gown. I pulled a hair tie from my clutch and put my hair up to a messy bun. What was the worst that could happen?

I walked the streets leading to the Los Angeles Convention Center. As I got closer, the people on the streets exponentially duplicated as well. I saw people dressed up as Iron Man, Captain America, Captain Marvel… wait did I just see a Groot? While I was busy staring at all the cosplayers, I realized that my red dress was noticed less and less. Whew. 

Was I just supposed to show up? Where was the entrance? Chris told me to just tell the guards to get him, but I was convinced that was the number one way to get kicked out by security. I reached for my phone in my clutch. When I looked at my phone, I had one text from Chris. Perfect timing.

 

**Stay at the hotel.**

 

What?

I stood there staring at my phone in confusion. The text arrived 5 minutes ago. What did he mean? I was about to press call when a loud honk startled me. I looked over at the street where a pitch black Cadillac sedan was stopped.

What was this guys problem?

I took a few steps and the car slowly matched my pace next to me. Was it following me? I stopped and the car did the same. I saw more people staring at my direction as they walked by. I turned to face the car and the passenger side door opened. From the seat, Frank (Seb’s newbie assistant) came out of the car.

“Fra-” I started to say as he turned and opened the back seat door facing me.

“Ms. Julie,” Frank said bowing with his cute black tux and bow.

By this point, every pair of eyes were on me at this and I quickly made my way into the car. When I got in, a familiar figure was sitting on the other side.

“Were you really planning to walk yourself there?” Seb asked and I sighed in relief. The car drove off once Frank got back in the car.

“How did you find me?” I asked and he looked back at me diverting his gaze to my dress. Oh, jeez. I was about to throw a comment about how I actually took a Lyft here when I realized it could wait. He was wearing a fitted light blue suit with a simple white shirt underneath. He always looked good no matter what he wore.

“You look nice,” I said, smiling.

“Thank you. And you look stunning,” he smiled back. There was something about the way he said that. I was flattered by his genuine compliment, but something felt missing.

“Where’s Chris?” He asked.

Chris.

The name reminded me of the text and I frantically reached for my phone.

“Jules?” Seb asked.

I opened the text again. No replies or anything. “Seb, I think I have to go back to the hotel.”

“Huh, what do you mean?” he asked, but it was too late. I didn’t realize the car had already stopped and Frank was on the other side of the open door.

“Just go straight from here and it will take you to the purple carpet path,” Frank said as he held the door for me to get off. I stood by the car after I got off and Seb got out from the other side.

“What do you mean you have to go back?” Seb asked again. I handed my phone to him with Chris’ text pulled up. His face narrowed and handed my phone back to me. “He should be around here somewhere. I’ll look for him and Frank can take you to the venue.”

Frank nodded as he shut the door behind me. Seb jogged off toward the carpet area and the car drove off leaving me and Frank behind.

“Don’t worry,” Frank assured me with a nervous smile. “You can follow me.” 


	5. The Heartbreak

We walked down the empty hallway that Seb jogged through until we got to the end. The deep, rich purple carpet expanded in front of us. Hoards of fans, actors, paparazzi, and reporters were all gathered here. You would think that this many people would be nothing for the city living girl, but I was feeling overwhelmed. Chris’ text kept on circling in my mind and I was getting sicker by the second. The crowd was so loud that I could barely make out any specific voice, not even my own in my head.

“Julie!” Frank shouted at me despite the fact we were standing next to each other. “This way!”

I followed him on the carpet avoiding the main photo wall where all the actors were standing for photos and interviews. I glanced over and saw Tom Holland and RDJ posing together in front of cameras, Chris Hemsworth waving at the fans, and was that Vin Diesel? All of Hollywood was gathered here. By the time I looked ahead, Frank was already gone.

_Oh shit._

I stopped in place as I frantically scanned everywhere. But, everyone was dressed up nice and there was no sign of Frank.

“Chris! We love you!” A harmony of voices screamed from behind me. Chris?

When I turned around, Chris Pratt was waving at the group of fans. I continued to walk ahead hoping that this would somehow lead me back to Frank, but I found another familiar face.

My eyes caught a blue suit on the carpet that matched those brilliant blue eyes I knew so well. His bearded charismatic smile lit up as he was in the middle of an interview. I walked up to the crowd of people and started making my way through the reporters. I successfully made it until I was able to hear him and the interviewer clearly.

“Chris, we heard that you have another surprise for us today,” the reporter said as Chris took a step closer to hear him.

Chris turned to the camera with his brilliant smile. “Yes, I do.”

“Can you give us a hint?”

I watched Chris glance behind him at the marvel of A-listers walking by. He was looking around until he laid his eyes on someone he was looking for. His eyes lit up the way it would when he saw my face.

“Elizabeth!”

Elizabeth Olsen was wearing a glittery deep turquoise dress that matched Chris’ suit. As she walked up next to him she waved at the camera. She smiled over at Chris as she leaned closer to him. Chris wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“The Scarlet Witch herself!” The interviewer shouted in excitement at the camera. “What’s the teaser Chris?”

“Well,” he said as he looked over at her and she smiled at him. “We are-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Elizabeth leaned in and kissed him. The crowd around me started an uproar as flashes were going off everywhere. I stood there as I blankly stared at Chris as he looked back at Elizabeth when she pulled away. Everything was in slow motion as people were pushing me from all sides. Everyone wanted a piece of the soon-to-be biggest news story in Hollywood.

One body slammed against my arm, causing me to drop my clutch. By the time I looked down, the clutch was long gone, trampled by everyone trying to move up. When I looked up, he saw me.

The second felt like hours as our eyes connected in the midst of everything going on around us. Most of the time, I could usually tell what Chris was thinking. But right now, I couldn’t read him. Just by that fact alone, he felt like a stranger to me. I didn’t know who I was looking at anymore. I tore my gaze from him as I turned around and pushed myself out of the crowd.

“Jules!” I heard a familiar, faint voice behind me as I kept on pushing. I kept on moving forward until I found myself out of the growing crowd. I stood there with my eyes closed and my head down.

What was going on? What just happened?

“She’s here!” I heard in the background.

“Jules!” I heard another familiar voice call out and I instinctively looked up to see Seb jogging towards me. He grabbed my wrist and pulled. “Let’s go, we need to go.”

“I know,” I whispered in defeat.

I heard him angrily mumble a string of profanities as he stopped in front of me. He paused and looked around. “Listen to me, I’m taking you home now.”

“I saw-” I started to say, but stopped when I heard my voice drop. “It’s okay, I need to talk to Chris and I don’t know where my phone is-”

It was obvious that he didn’t care. After sighing in frustration, he started to walk off with my wrist in his grip and all I could do was follow.

 

  

Seb suggested that it was best for us to rest. For his benefit and mine. I told him that he should go back at least to make it to the after-party at least, but I think he was more afraid of Chris waiting for me at the hotel. He found us a roadside motel about 45 minutes away from where we originally stopped. Thankfully there were a lot of rooms available and he was able to get us a room with 2 double beds.

When we opened the door to the room, it was very underwhelming. It gave me flashbacks of my apartment in Boston before I got everything renovated. I wasn’t expecting the 5-star treatment I had at my hotel, but everything looked like it belonged in the 70s. I glanced over at Seb who walked in the room first and took off the baseball cap he bought from the gas station next door. He assured me that no one would notice him out here, but I convinced him that the last thing he needed was to be seen out here.

I followed him in and sat down on the corner of the bed that made a loud creaking noise. I tied my hair up in a bun and looked over at Seb who was inspecting around the room.

“Seb,” I started. “We can always ask for a refund and drive back.”

He completely ignored me. “Do you think there are rats here?”

Oh, Sebby. I giggled, trying to keep my mind distracted from what it kept going back to. “I won’t be surprised if there were.”

He looked at me with a horrified expression as he leaned against the table that was across the bed. “I think I’m okay with sleeping in the car tonight.”

“And leave me here by myself?” I asked.

“You can get two beds.”

I rolled my eyes as I removed my aching feet out of my heels. “Ow,” I groaned as I threw my legs on the bed followed by another creak. I looked down at my red feet that looked strangely fine for all the aches I was feeling.

“I can’t tell if you are being a baby about it.”

I shot him a glare as I placed my hand over my feet and massaged them begrudgingly. “I haven’t worn heels like these since I moved into the city.”

“Move over,” he said as he walked over and sat down on the other end of the bed and reached for my feet.

“Seb what-”

His colder hands felt tingly against my hot, throbbing feet. He took my feet into his hands and started to massage them like I was doing. In his hands, my feet looked tiny.

“It’s my fault for literally dragging you around today,” he said with his head down continuing to massage my feet. When I tried to pull them away, he gripped them tighter. I felt my face heating up red as the color of my dress.

For a few minutes, we sat in silence as I watched Seb massage my feet. All embarrassment aside, my feet were feeling much better.

“So you saw it happen,” he said finally, breaking the silence.

He didn’t have to explain anything. I already knew what he was referencing. The image of Chris locking lips with another beautiful woman flashed across my mind. To be fair, I’ve watched every movie he starred in and watched a lot of kissing scenes. This was no different, right? I could be just overreacting… it was just a kiss after all.

“Yeah,” I replied.

Another minute of silence.

“I ran into his manager earlier and heard from him about the…” he was looking for a word. “The thing. Then, I came running back for you.”

His manager knew about it?

“It’s just a publicity stunt or something. You know his management staff…” Sebastian’s words faded away as my mind was running like wild again.

_Oh boy did I know about his management. Chris has been trying to work on his own projects, but strict guidelines prevented him from that. He bore the weight of Captain America for 10 years of his acting career._

_Chris always wanted to explore new projects. He was so proud of his first self-directed movie. But, the budget for the movie flopped last minute. Chris was convinced that someone from his management did the deed. I still remembered when he called me after that news. He was torn apart for days. I still have the alarms I set for every 5 hours to call him. Thankfully, his optimistic nature helped him stand up and make the best out of what he had left._

_He was happiest when he was working on his play last year. I bought tickets for every show even though he always had a seat reserved for me. He was burnt out, but nothing made him happier doing what he always wanted to try._

“Julie?” Seb repeated, breaking me out of my trance.

“Sorry, I’m exhausted.” I lied.

Seb got up from the bed and started walking towards the door. “I’m going to walk over to the gas station and see if I can get a change for clothes for you and some snacks.”

“I can sleep in this,” I protested.

“Yeah, okay,” he brushed off. “I’ll be right back. Text me if you-” he caught himself. “Right, no phone. But, I will be back in 15 minutes.”

“I’m not a baby, Seb.”

He ignored me. “I will be back in 15. Don’t miss me too much.”

 

 

 

The atmosphere of the room changed around me the second he stepped out. Without a phone, I had nothing else to do. There was a TV in the room, but I couldn’t find the remote after a scan of the room from the bed I was sitting on. What a generation we were living in.

All my life, I never made friends easily. I always felt out of place in social settings, like the ugly duckling in the room. At an early age, I convinced myself that the only real way to make friends was by complimenting others. In high school, it was easy to convince people, but as I got older my strategy never allowed me to make close friends. A lot of people I knew were just acquaintances. I got invited to the group dinners, but never the home potlucks. Thankfully, the only two people who stuck around were Chris and Seb. We didn’t see each other for 70% of the year, but the 30% that we did were the best of times.

I pulled my legs towards me as I hugged them close to me. I just wanted to be back home in my bed and under my own covers. I wanted to call Chris and shout all the profanities I knew. I knew deep inside that there was no ill intent. Something was going to happen and he knew. He didn’t want me hearing or seeing anything that could hurt me. I caught a glimpse of myself from a small mirror that hung next to the TV.

“Look at yourself now” I whispered under my breath.

It was probably for the best. What was some normie with no association to anything relevant to Chris going to contribute to his career and life? The tears I pushed deep inside after crying into Seb’s shirt found it’s way back to my eyes again.

The warm liquid rolled down my cheeks and I quietly sobbed in the lonely, empty room. The tears were impossible to stop. Once it starting rolling, it kept on going. I realized I wasn’t just crying in sadness, but I was frustrated at myself. I wanted to go back to a time before everything. Go back to a time before I fell in love with him.

I realized that Seb could be coming in anytime soon and I didn’t want him to see me like this again. I hated involving him in something that he shouldn’t have to worry about. I dragged myself off the bed and started to walk over to the bathroom barefoot. I had made three steps from the bed when I heard the door click open. Seb walked in with two plastic bags in each hand and the card key in his mouth. I quickly walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

“Jules?!”

I turned on the running water and cleared my throat. “Hold on.”

His voice was closer. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I blurted back as I quickly splashed water on my face to cover the wreck. Knowing that he was going to barge in before I could finish my sentence, I opened the door. He was standing right in front of me.

“Are you okay?” He repeated. Seb’s eyebrows narrowed as he looked at me intently. His face was full of concern all day today and I felt horrible knowing that I was the culprit.

“No,” I answered truthfully. “I want to go home.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

He pulled out his cellphone and after a second he had the phone pressed against his ear.

 

“Hey.”

“I know,” he sounded apologetic. “Can you do me a favor?”

“I need a ticket for the next flight out to Boston.”

“Yes, one is fine.”

“Thanks, I owe you one. I’ll see you soon.”

 

I stared back at him wide-eyed as he stuffed the phone back into his pant pocket. He turned to look back at me. There was a familiar, but conscious smile on his face. It was as if he knew that his frowning faces were bothering me.

“Let’s get you back home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I love Elizabeth Olsen and bow down to her existence. I do not know Chris’ relationship with management. This story is entirely fictional and I needed someone beautiful and close with Chris to use for the story. Just leaving this note here in case people come for me.


	6. The Closure

I woke up to the sunlight streaming in from the window by my bed.

**My bed.**

I opened my heavy, puffy eyes and the memories of last night came rushing back like a flood. I glanced over at my clock. It read at 12:07 pm. When I looked down, I was still wearing my red evening gown. I got up from the bed and lazily took off my dress letting it fall to the floor. Half-awake, I stumbled into the bathroom and looked at myself.

Most of my eye makeup was intact, but the rest of my face rubbed off somewhere else. I turned on the water and splashed my face awake with the cold water. Once the cold water hit my face, I was back to my old everyday routine. I quickly brushed my teeth and jumped in the shower. By the time I stepped out of the shower, I heard my doorbell ring.

Who was it?

I didn’t order anything knowing that I was going to be in California for the week and the only person who knew I was here was Seb. I would be lying if I admitted that his name didn’t come across my mind. But you know what, I was okay with lying to myself to save myself the teary trouble mess.

I wrapped the towel around me and quickly walked over to the door.

“Hold on!” I shouted at the door as I fumbled with the locks. When I opened it, a young guy with a fluorescent vest and brown cargo shorts and vest was standing with a small brown box in his hands.

“Ms. Julie?” He asked.

“Yes?” I answered back.

He took out a device and handed it to me. “Sign your name there.”

I did what I was told and handed it back to him. “Hi, uh what is this?”

He looked at me confused. “It’s the delivery service, ma’am.”

“I didn’t-“ Before I could finish my sentence he threw the package at me and headed off down the hallway. With the package in my hand, I closed the door behind him. I should be more concerned about random packages arriving at my house. But, I saw Seb’s name scribbled in the From line in the corner. I walked into the kitchen to grab scissors and tore through it. My jaws dropped as an iPhone box stared back at me. I grabbed the small note in the box first.

 

**Happy early birthday gift? Call me when you get it set up. - Seb**

 

The phone was a quick set up process. I was up and running within 30 minutes and it looked like the phone was already linked to an existing number. I sat on the couch and dialed Seb’s number from memory.

“Jules?” Seb answered.

“Hey,” I said back.

“How are you feeling?” I could pair his facial expression with the way he said that.

“Better,” I paused. “Thank you for last night.”

“Mhm, did you talk to him yet?”

“No,” I answered almost instantaneously. “I don’t plan on it.”

“Okay,” he paused for a quick second and changed the subject. “Well, I’m planning to come tomorrow.”

“To Boston?”

“Yeah, I don’t have any upcoming schedules. I want to check on you.”

“Okay.” I gave in. I didn’t see a point in arguing with him if he was already determined to come. “By the way, let me send you money back for the tickets and the phone.”

“As I said, it’s your early birthday gift.”

“Seb, my birthday is four months away.”

“I know, so don’t forget my gift then.”

I sighed. “Thank you.”

“Okay, I have to go. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Okay.”

And the phone line cut off. I was about to get up and prepare something to eat when my phone buzzed and buzzed. I was receiving the text messages that I missed when my phone went missing yesterday.

 

**Seb: Where are you?**

**Seb: Are you with Frank?**

**Seb: Answer your phone**

 

And then, I saw his.

 

**Chris: I need to talk to you. Where are you?**

**Chris: Are you coming back to the hotel?**

**Chris: Can you call me?**

 

I dropped my phone next to me, but it felt like I was still staring at it. My mind kept a mental screenshot of the messages. I couldn’t find my legs to get up. Deep inside, I knew the depth of the situation. There was a cloud of misunderstanding between us. All I had to do was call him and talk it over like grown adults. But, my fear wouldn’t let me. The confrontation didn’t scare me, but I was scared because didn’t know what it meant for us afterward.

_Do we just pick up where we left off? Could I just pick up where we left off?_

The answer to the second question I already knew was a no. There was no way I could delete my memory like I didn’t see what I saw. I couldn’t just forget the feeling of being punched in my gut when I saw him across from me. There was nothing that could mend the trail of broken heart pieces.

My tears quietly rolled down my cheeks and dropped on my hands. I got up and walked into the kitchen and grabbed anything I could find. By the time I was back in bed, I couldn’t remember what I ate. I think I heard Seb call, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t touch the phone that night.

 

 

I woke up to the ringing sound of the doorbell. I rolled off the bed and dragged myself to the doorway. It took me a while as I locked and unlocked the door stumbling with my sluggish hands before finally getting it open. I rubbed my tired eyes and my eyes focused on a blurry figure of Seb standing in front of me.

“It’s 5 am, Seb.” I groaned as I turned around and started dragging myself back to my bed.

“Whose fault is that. Why didn’t you answer your phone.”

I turned around and quickly shushed him. “I’m tired.”

 

 

“Jules, get up.”

“Julie.”

I rolled to the edge of the bed trying to stop this strange alarm that kept on saying my name. I reached out my hand and felt around for a button, but it started to register in my mind that this didn’t feel like a desk. This wasn’t hard like a solid surface, but a dough-like surface that reminded me of a… body part. My eyes flew open and saw my hands over Seb’s upper left thigh. My eyes quickly scanned up and locked in on his horrified expression.

“SEB!!!” I screamed as my hands flew off and grabbed my covers. I hid underneath my blankets praying it was all just a freaky dream.

I heard him clear his throat, but it honestly sounded like he was choking. Oh god, please tell me this was all just a dream.

“Jesus, Jules. Wake up, it’s 11 am.”

“Let me be!” I blurted out. Underneath the covers, I tried to pinch myself awake. No luck, my arm was hurting like a bitch now.

“Your pancakes are getting cold.”

I peeked over my covers. He was still standing there with his arms crossed. He was wearing a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. I knew my face was already tomato red. “Pancakes?”

“I grabbed them from Bob and Edith’s down the street. Your favorite, right?”

I nodded.

“I’ll be in the dining room.” He turned and stormed out of my room, closing the door behind him. I slowly rose my body out of the bed, I buried my face in my hands.

Way to go, Julie. Way to go.

 

 

If I could do whatever I wanted, I would’ve shown up to the table in sunglasses. But, I knew about table manners and I didn’t think Seb would have appreciated my sweatpants, t-shirt, and sunglasses fashion at the table.

Seb was scrolling through his phone when I walked over to the table. That would have bothered me 9 out of 10 times, but I was distracted by the impressive table setting. The table was perfectly set for two with a stack of pancakes on each plate. There was a glass of orange juice by the utensils. When I sat down, Seb placed his phone down.

“Do you always wake up this late?” He asked.

“I’m jet-lagged, okay?”

“Uh-huh,” he said back sarcastically.

Blinded by hunger, I grabbed my fork and knife. Seb waved his hand to signal me to stop. He grabbed the syrup and poured it over the pancakes.

“I don’t know if it’s good cold-”

Before he could finish his sentence and put the syrup container down, I started stuffing my face. As I continued to eat, I heard him chuckle. When I looked up, he was pouring the syrup over his pancakes.

“So, about earlier…” He started to say and I choked on my own food. I reached for the OJ and barely bought myself back to life.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“What about earlier?” I fired back.

“I started your laundry earlier. It looked like you didn’t get to it since you got back.”

“Oh,” I said in relief. I felt the tension release from my body. “It’s been three days, I’ll survive. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Did you think I was going to mention how you basically groped me earlier? I thought it wasn’t a subject for breakfast.”

I immediately felt my face heat up again as I quickly looked down at my food. “I- uh- I don’t know what you are talking about, Seb.”

His laughter filled the empty pockets of space between us. I’ve only been crying around the house since I got back and this was a welcomed change. Minus the reason why he was laughing, I find myself smiling too.

“Hey, look at me.”

I looked up with a stupid smile still stuck on my face. His short rich brown, almost black hair was messily tossed on his head as if he woke up, got dressed, and went to pick up food. Unlike his hair, his beard was well-kept at a perfect length close to his tan skin. His grey-blue eyes met mine and lit up.

“I missed that smile,” he said softly.

“Stop it,” I pushed back jokingly.

His smile faded into seriousness. “I don’t know what to do around you when you cry, Jules.”

“Seb-” I started to speak when he cut me off.

“I didn’t know what to do after your past relationships and I still don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” I smiled, weakly. “I know it sounds selfish, but I’m just glad that you were always there for me.” I heard my voice crack towards the end of the sentence.

“I,” he started to speak but stopped soon after. He pressed his lips together and leaned back in the chair. “Do you remember what I told you two years ago?”

I didn’t know what he was referring to, so I let him continue.

“I told you that I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

I felt like a ton of bricks just fell on top of me. I didn’t realize I had suppressed these memories so deep inside for two years now.

“I never regretted saying that to you.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“I was happy for you and Chris, but I never stopped thinking about you. I tried to move on,” he paused and diverted his eyes for a second. “But, nothing made me feel like the way I feel with you right now. So, I stayed away. I knew I needed space and all of this happened… and Jules,” he sounded helpless and frustrated. “I don’t know why I still feel like this.”

A short pause.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. I should have seen the signs. It was true that Seb was busy the past two years with various projects he was working on, but I didn’t know that it was intentional.

“I don’t know what you’re apologizing.”

“It’s my fault.”

“Dammit, Jules. I fell in love with you, how is it your fault?” He asked, raising his voice.

“Because I should’ve seen the signs because I should’ve talked with you to give you the closure you deserved, because I was selfish and adamant on keeping you as a friend, because…” Then, my voice finally gave out. I couldn’t say anything else. I bit my lip to stop myself from becoming a mess. I didn’t want to make this harder on him now that I knew it bothered him.

He clenched his jaw and got up from his seat. He crossed over and knelt down next to me. “Hey,” he whispered. I looked down at him and he put his hand over mine on my lap. “I still love Chris like family and I will continue to love you no matter what happens. The bond I have with you and Chris is beyond all of this. Nothing in the world is going to change that.”

I nodded.

“Do you know how you smile around Chris?”

I was confused. I couldn’t follow what point he was trying to make.

“You look at him like you would love him even if someone told you that you would lose everything you have. When you’re around him, you trace him with your eyes. Your gaze never leaves him.”

His shoulders dropped. “You deserve that happiness, Julie.”

“But, I can’t do that Seb,” I said. “I can’t just go back to what Chris and I had.”

“You can,” he replied. “I told him that if he doesn’t beg for forgiveness, I’m going to take you away from him.” He smiled, “I promised him that I was going to take you far away so he can’t ever find you.”

My heart pained to see him smile and joke like that. I pulled him in and rested my head on his messy head. My tears rolled down the side of my face and onto his soft hair. He leaned in and rested his head on my lap.

“It’s late. I know. But, I love you, Julie.”

“Me too,” I whispered as I kissed the top of his head.


	7. Fenway Park

Sebastian’s POV

A day before coming to see Julie

 

I successfully passed through the moderately full hotel lobby tilting the baseball cap lower to cover most of my face. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long to sneak into an empty elevator. I hit the button for the penthouse suite. The elevator music hummed quietly in the background as I glanced at my phone again, hoping to see a call or a text.

Oh right, she didn’t have her phone on her.

I stuffed the phone in my back pocket and looked up at the numbers climbing up. When the numbers above changed to the letter P, the elevator dinged and the doors opened. I stepped out and used the key card on the door sensor. The small red light switched to green with a low clicking sound. I grabbed the cold gold handle and pushed the door open.

The suite was pristine. The kitchen was untouched and the living room space looked like it was ripped out of an IKEA catalog. If you told me that someone had been here, I wouldn’t have believed you. Maybe I needed to hire this hotel staff to clean my apartment. I walked past the fancy and gaudy furniture and navigated through the double doors to the master bedroom.

My eyes immediately found the shirtless figure slouched across the bed. Chris was lying with his back towards the ceiling. I would have recognized that back from anywhere. I couldn’t see if he was sleeping.

“Chris,” I said.

No movement. I moved closer. “Chris.”

This time I got some stirring on the bed. I kicked the bed with my feet and saw more movement. “Chris.”

“I don’t want it,” he muttered as he flipped over the bed.

I was losing my patience with him. “Chris,” I said as I pulled the pillow from underneath his head.

“What the-” He said as his eyes opened. He turned to look at me and groaned instinctively. “Seb, what are you doing here.”

“No, what are you doing here?”

“Trying to sleep.”

“Are you not going to fix this with Julie?”

I don’t know when was the last time I saw and heard no response from him. He was strangely expressionless as he stared at me blankly. Then, without a word, he got up from the bed and passed me to go to the bathroom. I followed behind him and as he was trying to close the door, I reached out my hand and stopped him.

“Move,” he said.

“No,” I replied.

“Seb, this has nothing to do with you.”

“It involves Julie.”

He let go of the door, angry. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, Seb. I know you love her. You don’t have to act like you conveniently avoided us for the past two years.”

Chris and I were like brothers. No, we were brothers. He always knew what I was thinking and I could predict what he was thinking. He was definitely better than me at it though. I think it had to do with his naturally caring nature. I was good at faking it for the most part. He was naturally good at connecting with anyone.

I ignored his previous comment. “I didn’t come here to argue with you.”

“What do you want?”

“Are you over Julie?” I asked.

He exhaled and dropped to the tile floor. He buried his face into his hands in frustration. “I don’t know, Seb, Is she done with me?”

“Chris, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you are done here.”

After a long pause, Chris looked at me. “I can’t do that,” Chris muttered under his breath.

Even though I wanted to beat him up, I hated seeing him like this. He was always the one to stay optimistic. “Then, get up,” I answered.

He didn’t move, but he was falling apart.

“I told my manager about announcing my relationship with Julie,” he started. I prepared everything for this. I practiced for a month straight because I wanted to do it right. Then, I get a call hours before the event telling me that it violates my contract and I won’t have management if I continue. The news was already out and it was a last minute decision to ask Elizabeth to help me out. I just didn’t expect…”

“Julie to be there.” I finished his sentence.

“I fucked up,” I heard him whisper.

“You can make it right,” I said, leaning on the door frame.

“I can’t even get in contact with her.”

“She lost her phone and I got a flight back home. She’s back in Boston.” I confessed.

He didn’t even flinch or look surprised. “Good,” he answered.

I sat down on the floor across from him, leaning against the door. “She’s hurt, Chris. And all I can do is put a band-aid on it, but you can fix it.” I said in defeat. I knew I couldn’t do anything.

“How? I don’t know what to say.”

“You’ll figure it out, she’s the one who fell for your dumbass,” I said jokingly and saw heard his exhausted chuckle. It was a strange feeling trying to cheer up Chris. “Make her cry again and I’m taking her somewhere you can’t find.”

“I would do the same.”

There were depth and sincerity in the simple answer. I got up and patted his back. “I’m going to be in Boston. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah.”

As I walked out of the hotel room into the elevator, I couldn’t describe this feeling. When I went in there, I was ready to tell him that I wasn’t planning to wait for him to get his shit together. Too bad, so sad. When I saw him, I couldn’t get myself to say anything I planned to say. But, I knew that he loved her more than anything else in the world right now and I knew that everything was going to be okay. At the end of it all, I knew it was the right thing to do and I felt good about it.

 

**Julie’s POV**

 

Seb was deep asleep on the couch. I grabbed a blanket from the back and tossed it over him. It looked abnormally small against his tall, built body. I smiled to myself as I reached for my phone and took a quick picture for evidence.

Before I could put my phone away, it buzzed in my hands. Chris’ name flashed across the screen. I opened the message.

 **Can we meet tonight? Fenway Park at** 9pm **.**

In Boston? Was he in Boston now?

I looked over at Seb. He was right, I couldn’t keep hiding forever.

**Okay.**

I replied. The red hue of the sun coming from the windows indicated that the sun was setting. It was going to be dark soon.

I got off the subway and made my way to the Fenway Park entrance. I checked the time and it was 8:50 pm. Just 10 more minutes left. I didn’t know if Chris wanted to meet at the entrance or inside the park. I looked at the rustic forest green doors behind me. I couldn’t imagine that the doors would be open for anyone to go inside, especially at this time of the night. Plus, there were no games going on tonight.

I pulled the jean denim jacket closer to me and pressed the navy blue Boston Red Sox cap on my head. I would be lying if I said that I got here like a boss bitch. I hesitated the whole time I was on the train and I even tried to wake up Seb before I left. But, he was deep asleep like he wasn’t able to rest in a while. I thought about sending a text that I was here, but I wasn’t sure what that made me look like so I decided against it. I planned to send a text at 9 pm on the dot.

Buzz.

I felt my butt pocket vibrate and I reached for my phone. It was from Chris.

**Are you here?**

I typed back.

**Yes, the front entrance. Are you?**

The phone buzzed back almost immediately.

**Yes.**

I started feeling anxious and started looking around. Other than a few passersby, I couldn’t find anyone with his silhouette. Since we were out in public, I knew that he would be wearing a baseball cap and I didn’t see any caps out from the people who passed by.

“Jules,” a familiar voice called from behind me.

I jumped up from the sudden sound as I glanced back towards the green doors. The familiar silhouette with a baseball cap was standing by the doors with one hand holding the door open.

“Chris,” I answered. I couldn’t see his face clearly under the fading street lights and his cap, but he sounded like he had a long day. With his hand still on the door, he walked across and opened the door wide. I stepped closer to him and walked through the doors. I didn’t realize the doors were kept open. Once he got inside, he reached over the door until there was a heavy clicking sound. How did he get in? Questions and anxiety swam around my mind until he turned back to face me.

“Thanks for coming,” he said. It was darker here compared to the street lights outside and I couldn’t catch a glimpse of his face. But, I did notice that he was also wearing his Boston cap.

I nodded as an answer. “How are you?” I asked.

“Been better,” he answered. “And you?”

“Me too,” I replied. I didn’t know if he was going to say anything else, so I continued. “When did you land in Boston?”

“Six hours ago.”

“I see,” I muttered. This small talk was painful to continue. “I didn’t know you could come in here.”

“You can’t,” he answered. “Do you mind if we walk?”

I followed him down the hallway lined with concession stands. Chris and I would come here whenever our schedules allowed to watch the games. It was a complete ghost town compared to game days, it was actually kind of scary. I tried to keep my mind away from the creepy vibe and keep my eyes fixed on Chris’ back. It was assuring to be with him, but equally terrifying to think about the confrontation that was about to happen soon. I thought of every possible scenario to help me prepare.

We continued down the hallways making turns here and there. I found myself walking closer on his tail until I eventually found myself walking next to him. Yes, I hate confrontations, but I watched way too many horror movies and zombie movies to be okay with this. When we reached these two huge double doors, Chris opened them and the bright lights made me squint. In front of us was the expansive baseball field. I stared around in awe as I was realizing that I was stepping on the same floor as the players stepped on for their games. As I looked around, I also stole a glimpse at Chris’ face and he looked like the Chris I knew but exhausted. I don’t know why I expected him to be a changed person, but he was the same old Chris.

 

**Chris’ POV**

 

Despite the fact that we were outside, Julie’s familiar sweet scent surrounded the space between us. I loved being around her for this reason. She carried a pure and honest aura around her that no one else had. Especially for the type of people, I’ve met in my industry. When trouble came her way, she was so tough on the outside, always smiling and making the people around her smile. Her familiar soft brown eyes met mine and I had to fight the urge to hold her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for everything. I just didn’t know where or how to start.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

She looked at me with her blank face. Her dark eyebrows narrowed and her eyes looked distant.

“Nothing’s changed. I still love you,” I continued. I must have said something wrong because I could already see that her eyes were starting to well up. “That night, I had all the intentions of letting everyone know about us. But, I was afraid and made a decision I will have to live… regretting… every day.”

She watched me cautiously.

“Julie, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Her eyes turned away from me as she looked down towards the ground. I wanted to hold her, but I just painfully watched as her tiny frame trembled. She raised her hands to wipe her tears and looked up at me. The area around her eyes was crimson red like they were exhausted from all the tears she cried every night.

“Do you know what I hated the most about this?” She whispered. “The fact that I blamed myself for showing up that day. Do you know what that’s like?” The tears trickled down her flushed cheeks as her voice struggled to stay above water.

“Each night I blamed myself over and over again for not turning around and taking a cab back when I saw that text. I convinced myself that it didn’t matter who you kissed or who everyone thought you were dating… because I’m stupidly and unreasonably in love with you.”

Her lips quivered as she wiped her tears away. She sobbed quietly trying to catch her breath. I clenched my hands into fists. It was all my fault. I cautiously touched her arm. She didn’t react, so I walked closer and gently held her tiny frame in my arms. Her face buried into my chest and she started to sob louder and uncontrollably. My shirt was soaked in her tears.

Sebastian was wrong. I really didn’t know what to do.

I placed my hand over the back of her head and brushed my fingers through her soft curls. We stood there like that until her loud cries turned into a soft sniffle. She pulled away from my chest and looked up at me. The area around her eyes and nose was pink against her pale, porcelain skin.

“Where do we go from here?” She asked.

I didn’t know what to say, but she looked like she had an answer already made up in her mind. “You tell me,” I whispered back.

I knew that I was going to lose her. I knew that her answer was going to be walking away from us. I saw it through the hesitation in her eyes. But, how could I blame her?

She always had a tough front about life, but I knew she was hiding tears and sadness at a magnitude beyond what she was showing. I realized then and there that I’ve never loved someone like how I loved her. I was terrified of losing her, but as long as she could say this was her decision. If her decision made her happy, I was okay with leaving everything and never looking back. Her happiness was equivalent to mine.

Her gaze shifted down and bit her lips. I placed my hand on the side of her face and wiped away the tiny teardrops. She looked back up at me, her brown eyes twinkling from the bright stadium lights around us. To my surprise, she lifted her hand and placed it against my face. Her hand was warm against my skin. It was comforting.

“I love you so much,” she muttered. She forced a tired smile on her face. “And… as much as I want to hate you… I need you, Chris.”

With a sigh of relief, I pulled her in and held her tight in my arms. I closed my eyes shut as I tightened the grip around her, promising myself that I’ll never let go again. I kissed the top of her head.

“I promise you that I will fix every-”

She shook her head. “We’ll deal with that later. Right now, I just want to be with you.”

As she finished that sentence, my lips jumped on top of hers and everything was perfect in the world. She wasn’t just the love of my life, but she was my anchor. I wanted to go public and tell everyone about her because I loved her. I never loved anyone like this before. But today, as we kissed, I tasted her in a way I’ve never tasted her before. It wasn’t just childish fun and games, I’ve had those kisses before. Today I tasted her strength and heart, strong and beautiful. Today, I saw her as a future wife. I saw her as a mother to our future children.


End file.
